I am working on a blog-related project and I had intended not to blog until the project was ready for release. I made that decision when it was almost done, but then classes started and I haven’t been working on it because I am suddenly a lot more busy. Every time I have wanted to blog over the last couple weeks, I have decided that I can’t because my project isn’t ready yet. I think it’s been three weeks now and I don’t want to rush completion, so I’m just going to return to blogging until it is done. 🙂
This is going to have to not be a running blog for a while because I am not running for a while. I have a piriformus injury that is almost gone, but I also have persistent tendinitis in the arches of both feet. I have had the latter on and off for almost a year at this point. Running with tendon pain is just not worth it to me anymore. I am restarting physical therapy on the 26th for my hip, and I have been much more diligent about doing prescribed at-home exercises and icing my feet. I have been wearing inserts in my shoes, and if my physical therapist suggests custom orthotics as she has in the past, instead of saying “no thanks,” I am going to ask, “How much and when can we make them?”
Lately, I have been wishing that I could just erase my last year or two of running. Through mostly mistakes of my own, I have been plagued with injury after injury. Sure, I ran my fastest half marathon in May 2013, but I also got a stress fracture and peroneal tendonitis during the way-too-aggressive build-up. If I could, I would give up that PR to not have begun the vicious injury cycle back then.
Hindsight is 20/20 and there is no point to living in regret. I may have had an unproductive, mostly injured 18 months of training, but I can learn from that. I can learn to be patient, to be cautious, and not to try to keep up with far more experienced runners (in terms of pace, mileage, and what workouts they do). I may not be the most patient person on the whole, but patience is all I have right now when it comes to running.
I am only 21 years old. There are people who start running at this age or later and end up running very well into their thirties and beyond. The other night as I was lying in bed, I thought, “I wish I could just start over.” And you know what? I can. If I am very patient and heal completely instead of going back to running as soon as I think I feel better, I can start over. If I do not think of it as a return to running, I can start over. I’m not going to think about things I used to be able to do and my goal will not be to get back to that level of fitness. I don’t want to go back. I want to move forward. I’m going to start fresh. A clean slate. A healthy body. Unknown potential.
I’m hoping for a January 1, 2015 start date. Not a return date, but a start date. If I am not healthy by then, I will not run. If I am healthy before then, I will enjoy extra time off and start in the new year. I am done running for this year. This has been a long, painful learning process that I am ready to leave behind.
Just to be clear, the blog is not going anywhere. I will keep writing here, and hopefully soon my project will be ready to unveil. 🙂