I Didn’t Listen to My Body and I Don’t Even Care

Hi. My feet hurt. My feet have hurt for the last several weeks and I have kept running on them feeling them get worse and worse and knowing I was running myself into an injury. Yet for some reason, I didn’t care. And honestly, I still don’t care. I haven’t run since Wednesday, which is only five days ago. For the last week and a half of running, I have been seriously considering quitting altogether. While running 12 miles around the lake two weekends ago, I was thinking about how I didn’t even really like running long anymore and how I would be much happier just running however much I feel like whenever I feel like it.

I don’t want to train for things anymore.  Or at the very least, I want a break from training for things.  I don’t want the pressure of a deadline and I don’t want to feel like I have to run through discomfort if I don’t want to.  That doesn’t mean I’m not going to do races for fun if I feel like it.  I have a ten-mile race toward the end of August that I am doing because Matt does it every year and he wanted me to do it with him.  It will be fun.  It also doesn’t mean I’m going to stop running longish.  I like being in shape to drop in on things like running the 8 miles around Mackinac Island if I make a trip up there and feel like running around the island.

But I’m not going to force myself to run when I don’t want to.  I’m sick of that and it makes me sick of running.  I walked to work this morning (two miles) and I was just as happy as if I had run before work.  I’m not going to run through pain just because I think I am “supposed” to be running, which is what I had been doing the last few weeks.  Nooo thank you.

Last week, I made plans to go to a social run tomorrow night, and I really want to go to that, but it happens every week and I’m not going to grit my teeth and run with painful feet just because I’m impatient and want to go to the social run this week instead of next.  I’ll see what tomorrow brings, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t going to bring pain-free feet.

Oh, and I finally deleted my running club Google doc.

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9 thoughts on “I Didn’t Listen to My Body and I Don’t Even Care

  1. Good for you for finally listening to your feelings. That crazy “should” feeling can get to me sometimes. I “should” be running this long or this fast, I have a training schedule to stick to, etc. I’m one of those weird people who doesn’t like to listen to the schedule and prefers to run my own way. If it’s not fun (or even mildly enjoyable), it doesn’t make sense to beat yourself up over it and hurt yourself.

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  2. Sounds good to me love! I think everyone reaches a similar point in their running, and the best thing anyone can do is listen. I know I love running now, but I’ve already said that next year, I want it to be my fun year. I’ll do races but not take anything seriously and just enjoy myself. Running isn’t making you happy right now? Do what does 🙂

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    • Thanks so much for this comment! It’s good to hear that other people go through things like this, too. I know that I want to keep running, but I just want it to be fun right now. 🙂

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  3. Good luck to you! We have a local elite runner, who’s a buddy of mine, that recently qualified for the US Olympic Marathon trials. Well, a few weeks ago he said, screw it, and bought a one way ticket to Ecuador to live the ‘simple life’. I can’t even imagine. I hope he refinds his love of running one day!

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    • Wow, that’s crazy! I guess it can happen to anyone. It’s like how my boyfriend doesn’t run anymore–he ran a few marathons at the end of high school/beginning of college and was quite good at it IMO, ran Boston in 2012, and really hasn’t trained for anything since. Now, he runs maybe once every two weeks when I convince him to come out with me. xD

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  4. Pingback: Lesson from the Gardens: Obsession | Rach Runs Her Mouth

  5. What an honest post. So refreshing! I’m in the middle of my “f— running” moment myself. I wonder if its the injury some curse of the 12 miles? All I know is I’m tired of thinking so much about it and feeling immense pressure to run when I don’t feel like it (self imposed pressure). Thanks for writing this. It makes me feel better… even if I still don’t feel like running again yet.

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